If you’re a social butterfly who bounces from one friendship to the next, then you may want to dig deep and improve your existing friendships this new year. Yes, this means evaluating the ties that are good, bad, and perhaps, even forgotten – easier said than done! We move, change, create new lives of our own…while at the same time we try to keep up and maintain ties with our good friends. Female friendships can uplift you, but they can just as easily drown you too. Girls, you know what we’re talking about!
Our female friendship bonds can either become closer and more open, or they can evolve into messy, stale, or critically toxic territories. Not to mention the friendships that we pine to have back, as they dwindle to a nonexistent place – and you know that when Facebook stalking becomes the norm, you may be in too deep – yikes!
No need to fear, we’re here to pinpoint some familiar friendships for you and give you tips on whether to boost, reboot, or boot these friends from yourlife this year. Here’s our breakdown of familiar friends: the drama queen, the bestie, and the flirty guy friend. We’ve described below how to improve your good, bad, and weird bonds with these friends in your life for better and healthier relationships.
Friendship Advice: How To Improve Your Good, Bad, And Weird Relationships
1. Read this if your friend is the drama queen…
A friendship that involves the drama queen is heavy and filled with drama! While you’re always the kind shoulder to cry on, your friend is constantly complaining about her latest break up or how much her boss hates her. You feel drained every time you see her name flash up as a text or call on your cell. She has some serious issues when it comes to talking about anything, unless it has to do with what’s wrong with her life on that day. Tight-knit buds are supposed to be each other’s number one fans through thick and thin. However, it’s easy to let a friendship like this become a one-way street when it comes to support.
Trust your intuition! If you feel that you’re simply an emotional dumping site when this overly-dramatic friend unloads all her issues on you in one gulp, it’s time to take a stand. Whether you feel that she doesn’t even care to ask how your day was or that she won’t take a night off from whining about how she’s single, it’s time to speak up and let her know how you feel. It is very common for any girl to get caught up in a bad case of “it’s all about me.”
Friendship Tip: Sometimes all it takes is an honest sit down to put your friend in check. A good friend will understand your point of view, and try her best to keep the constant complaining to a minimum.
2. Read this if you friend is your bestie…
This gal pal is your rock, your bestie! You’ve known her forever (or so it feels). You two can talk all night long, speaking in nothing but movie quotes and inside jokes, or give a simple wordless glance – this person just gets you. She’s the first to offer you perspective, relief, an open ear, you name it. Even when everybody else seems confused with you for one reason or another, this friend knows exactly what you need or where you’re coming from. Not to mention her perspective and advice is outrageously fresh and honest- and even when you don’t want to hear it, you appreciate it. At the end of the day, you know she’s looking out for you like no one else does.
There may even be a time where you can’t hang or talk as much as usual, but the second you two reunite it’s like you haven’t missed a beat. In order to keep this friendship as special and beneficial, you need to put some extra effort into continuing to bond even more with your bestie.
Friendship Tip: Plan some sort of personal or outrageously fun outing or weekend together. Nothing makes a better friendship like embarking on a long road trip to a new place, getting tickets for a band you’ve both been dying to see, or venturing to the mall to spend the day splurging – make 2014 a year to celebrate those rare lifetime friends!
3. Read this if your friend is the flirty guy friend…
This is the boy ‘friend’ who you are constantly having to reassure everyone else that you’re nothing more than buddies. You go on non-date dates all the time, maybe even tickle and touch each other every chance you get. Everyone else around you either assumes you’re already dating or insists that you should start dating because of how freaking adorable you two are together. Ask yourself how you would feel if this flirty friend got into a potentially serious relationship, out of the blue. Maybe you find out that he’s now in a Facebook official relationship with somebody you’ve never even seen before! OMG! Before you know it, you’ll be pulling a Julia Roberts run to the altar from “My Best Friend’s Wedding”.
While you may be denying to everyone, including yourself, that you have complicated feelings for this guy it’s pretty obvious you’re upset about his new lady friend. For your own future sanity, it’s important to really figure out how you feel about this guy before getting in the middle of a love triangle with him and his new love. These sort of guy-girl relations rarely end in ‘BFF’ terms, and often get too hard at some point for you, him, or both of you. This brotherly love could be ruining your dating life too, especially if you already have a boyfriend. You’re either too hung up on this weird dynamic you and Mr. Stud Bud have to give anyone else a chance, or your boyfriend feels like he’s not the #1 man in your life because he has to share the spotlight with your platonic beau.
Friendship Tip: We’re not saying girls and guys can’t be friends, but in order to have better friendships this year, you should be aware of how you feel about your guy friend so that this type of friendship doesn’t turn into an episode of FriendZoned.